blog image
4 months ago | Pop Culture

In About: 4 months ago

Views: 19058

Section: Pop Culture

#3kBae: This Twitter user refused to have sex with her friend; so he held her ransom

A Twitter user, Slim Mummy @harbeeola8 exposes the man who allegedly left her stranded after she refused to have sex with him.

 A Twitter User, Abiola or Slim Mummy @harbeeola8 has narrated her experience with a friend who held her hostage after she refused to have sex with him.

In a series of tweets, she told the story of how after enjoying a long-term friendship over Twitter and Whatsapp, the male friend in question had invited her over during the December holidays. After refusing to do the dance, the male friend refused to pay her fare home.

He allegedly also seized her phone, before making attempts to leave her stranded. Pained, distressed and filled with a well-mannered anger, she confidently took to Twitter to unleash a thread about how he left her hanging, with no money to go back home.


How did 3k get involved?

Their friendship started about 6 months prior, when he helped her get an online job through the social media influence he enjoys with his secondary account, SubdeliveryPost.

I had issues with my phone and I needed 6k to repair it, I called him and he transferred 3k to my account then I added the rest. We’ve always been planning to see but he always comes up with another excuse which I’m not really bothered about”, she wrote in another tweet tinged with obtuse disappointment.

ALSO READ: How Bambiala Twitter has taken away our last thread of social media innocence

On Saturday morning, her friend (and benefactor, if we can call him that by now) invited her over to Iyana Ipaja. Unluckily for her, heavy traffic meant she got there late in the evening, and missed a wedding they were supposed to attend together. 


Upon meeting at a guest house, they had small talk before she was invited to follow him to a room. She did. One thing led to another, and the guy asked for sex. She refused. And like one would expect any sane man to do, he got up, acknowledged her refusal and got dressed.

Things pretty much went downhill from there.

In my mind I was like “wow this guy is so calm and gentle”. He left the room angrily and told me to meet him outside. NOTE: I told him how costly the transportation is cos of fuel scarcity and he promised to return it when I come”, she tweeted.

Sster, there's something called vex money

It’s 2018, people. Yes, the economy has gone to the dogs and money is in an abusive relationship with the streets of Lagos. Maybe that’s why, like a disappointing episode of Scandal, we’re dealing with women who understand the value of their own financial independence.

Even though her host had promised to foot her transport bill, going to a new environment where you are at the mercy of a man you have never met with no contingency plan is at best, reckless; at worst, needy.

There are not many ways to view this, especially at a time when incidents of sexual predation or coercion are rampant.

Either way, Slim Mummy @harbeeola8 was dealt an unsavory dose by her host. According to her tweets, he got a motorcycle to take her destination, only to refuse to give her any money to pay her fare.

ALSO READ: Three things that could go wrong when dating off Twitter

And so, the matter descended into a case of begging for transport and blame sharing.

After his friend intervened and convinced him to give her 500 naira, the guy took the money back and seized her phone along with it. His reason? That he needed the 3,000 naira he had sent her to repair the phone and he would not give it back until she coughed up the money.

It took the intervention of a random passer-by and plenty of begging to her phone back. At the end of her series of tweets, the host in question was revealed to be Twitter user @mrransoming.

Men are actually scum

He is allegedly behind the twitter account, Subdeliverytwit and also managed Subdeliverypost which has since been taken down by Twitter. With the #MenAreScum movement at his vitriolic worst, it’s sad to see the manipulative lengths to which certain men would go to demand sex. 

One day, we will address the sense of entitlement that men attach to gifts of money and favour when it comes to the female gender. For the twitter user in this case, his leverage was the assistance he had rendered, the money he sent for phone repairs.

ALSO READ: Lady drops Nigerian-American boyfirend after he takes her into the US

As far as he was concerned, all of these entitled him to some sort of return and in this case, sex was the only valid payment. When he was refused, he proceeded to wander and throw tantrums like a 4 month old baby deprived of his feeding bottle.

We need to raise better boys and teach our men to do better.


On the other hand, Abiola @harbeeola8’s recklessness could have put her in a more dangerous situation had the odds not turned in her favour.

Financial independence is not a matter of gender and that kind of needy behaviour most times, only ends up in trouble, especially with a person one is not overtly familiar with. Still, it is not safe to draw absolutes.

@mrransoming is yet to tell his side of the story. although, to be fair, if he does, we don’t expect him to shoot himself in the foot.

ALSO READ: 13 photos that every girl who almost dated an idiot will understand

We should also point out that some parts of the story do not check out. First, we’d like to know what normal thing means. In a situation where this 'normal thing' had gone to a point where her host had taken his clothes off, could Abiola be accused of leading her host on?

Still, no means no and there’s no excusing what happened, regardless of the intrinsic details. It’s obvious that Abiola went to meet a man who felt entitle to some sort of reward for being nice to her.

This culture of entitlement is not doing anyone any good.

Faith Obadan Photo

Faith Obadan is a Associate at Meets Media, a digital journalist who reports on Pop Culture and some other section of our website.

Add Comments